First, I have no obligation to take the word of psychologists about anything. My wife, of an earlier post, was apparently suffering from what we now call post-partum syndrome, though we didn’t have that phrase in those days, so our family doctor sent her to a psychiatrist. She reported back to our doctor, “I’m never going back to that silly SOB, he’s crazier than I am.” To which our doctor responded with nearly hysterical laughter.

Second, roll playing is different from real S&M. If I’m playing like I’m pointing a gun at your head, and can’t for whatever reason, use a toy gun, I’m going to make double bubble damned sure the gun is not loaded. Several iterations of damned sure. If I put a round in the cylinder and give it a spin, now we’re playing Russian roulette for real, and we are clearly demented, no matter how much more exciting it may be.

Something tells me that you didn’t read the introduction to this post very well since it’s pretty much quoting psychologists on why S&M is not a pathology. Keep in mind that in the animal world, many species evolved to be forceful about finding a mate since it demonstrates to the females that the male is strong and fit enough to reproduce.

Also, just an FYI. Role playing like the kind you just said you enjoyed with your wife is very much under the subset of that S&M umbrella. Some people just take those little fantasies farther because that’s what excites them…

The love of my life, the mother of my children, and I had a pretty entertaining and mostly normal sex-life. She was quite responsive to love and tenderness, but occasionally, and I do mean occasionally, like once a year, she would propose some sort of BDSM, if you will. She wasn’t into pain, but she liked rape fantasies. Sometimes she simply played the victim, sometimes she fought, but she always had a really good time. I figured it probably reflected some dime romance she’d been reading, but phantasy is the key word. She was confident that I was not going to actually hurt her. This was a mutually supportive romantic fiction drama, and it could get rough as hell, but there were no bruises to speak of.

Now about people who actually are into S&M: Well, I think they’re sick. I think researchers need to try to distinguish romantic fiction drama from the real thing, which I think, is a psychosis.

On which we used to rely?

Luckily, there’s the family guy!

As for me, I’ll pass.