alien abduction is harder than it looks

November 27, 2009

Traveling quadrillions of miles in a flying saucer to kidnap a random human yokel, perform all sorts of grizzly, invasive and hideous experiments on him or her, then do a total memory wipe and restore everything back to its seemingly rightful order so the victim doesn’t even know anything’s amiss, takes a lot of work and practice. This is exactly why aliens practice their abduction techniques before they can start a career in astrobiology…

Now, what amazes me is how someone could stay asleep through such brutal display of incompetence at the switchboard. Does the tractor beam also come with a sleep ray option? Also, far be it form me to question an advanced alien species capable of interstellar travel, but maybe it would be a wise idea to invest in some sort of labeling scheme? Just a humble suggestion from a primate with an over-clocked monkey brain.

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  • Jypson

    “Just a humble suggestion from a primate with an over-clocked monkey brain.” LOL