the multiverse suffers a huge security breach

December 12, 2010

Apparently, not even random sci-fi web comics can contain themselves from at least trying to do a joke about the eruptions of formerly secret files from WikiLeaks. Here’s one courtesy of Scenes From A Multiverse, which satirizes the leaks as primarily highly classified information about the personal hygiene and waistlines of the galaxy’s imperial officials and their friends, filled with diet tips and gossip. And come to think of it, that’s pretty close to what the actual leaked cables contain: blunt opinion and gossip sorted by date and title. But while the media of the Multiverse freaks out about someone publishing the dirty details of things those who try to follow the news already knew full well, an alien conspiracy theorist is fishing for shocking stuff in the infosquirts…

It would be interesting to see if the Multiverse also does a comic about the anonymous internet masses who demand that governments be held accountable by allowing anyone to display their dirty laundry for the public and always demand a fresh wave of public outrage whenever those governments dare to get ticked off that a whole lot of patient effort to accomplish some complex feat of diplomacy might now be in shambles because someone who like to fancy himself a great conspiracy-revealer had the fortune of a huge leak simply falling into his lap exactly when he needed it most, and decided to milk it for all it’s worth. I tend to imagine a big crowd wearing featureless masks and cloaked in black capes marching down the streets, chanting slogans and quotes about the need for transparency and open, honest discourse about global affairs…

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  • http://gpwillard@gmail.com RaggMopp

    Greg, the following is a joke right? “I tend to imagine a big crowd wearing featureless masks and cloaked in black capes marching down the streets, chanting slogans and quotes about the need for transparency and open, honest discourse about global affairs…”

    How about: …the children, all tucked in their beds, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.(?)

    I guess they could be shilling for somebody. Wonder what kind of budget the State Department gets for financing shills? Anyway my gut feeling is that they’re not. They seem to be the Brown Shirt faction of the Tea Party, and I hear them calling for the assination, not just the prosecution of Assange. They love the word traitor (almost as much as do Bill O’Reilly, Newt Gingrich and Pat Buchannan.) Of course we know that for the 10,000 accusations of treason remarked on Faux News, there have been approximately zero offers of evidence or sworn testimony delivered to the FBI. But where are these guys coming from? These are the same people who were complaining to high heaven about “invasive, over-reaching government just last week.

  • Greg Fish

    “Greg, the following is a joke right?”

    Well yes, I was trying to make a joke of sorts, but also to call attention to the fact that those who spend a whole lot of time defending Assange on the web hide behind screen names and insist on the reverse if-you-have-nothing-to-hide-you’ll-show-me-everything-I-want-to-see policy, backed with stunningly naive proclamations of how governments should be run. And when governments try to apply the same logic to them, well, have you heard of Opt Out Day and the crap storm on Reddit about the TSA?

    “They seem to be the Brown Shirt faction of the Tea Party…”

    Ok, that’s -5 points for the Gowdin right off the bat.

    “… and I hear them calling for the assination, not just the prosecution of Assange.”

    I’ve heard that too, and while I have absolutely zero love for Assange since he and his writings give me the firm impression that he’s an egomaniacal martyr wannabe who read a few too many conspiracy potboilers back in the day, calling for him to be killed is pretty stupid. He did use U.S. state secrets for self-enrichment (I mean where do his fans think the money they give to WikiLeaks goes? To the Peace on Earth Fund? No, to pay his salary), and he did cause all manner of international tensions, but the last thing you want to do with someone who desperately wants to be a martyr is to fulfill his wish. If governments want to effectively deal with Assange, they should boost their security and ignore him.

    “They love the word traitor…”

    Which can’t possibly apply here since Assange is Australian. How do you commit treason if you’re not a citizen of the country the secrets of which you leaked? Manning, on the other hand, may be a different story. But those who support him tend to overlook that instead of blowing the whistle on particular crimes or misdeeds of the government with supporting logs, he indiscriminatly released information and declared that the entire government is a villanous enterprise. I wouldn’t say he committed treason, but his actions were illegal and he did not actually blow the whistle on anything big, things like Abu Grahib or the CIA’s secret prisons. That, by the way, was done by the very mainstream press that Assange and his flock insist never covers big stories and shills for the military.

  • http://gpwillard@gmail.com RaggMopp

    “Which can’t possibly apply here since Assange is Australian.” Oh, please! Do you think the people I’m talking about can be discouraged with facts?

    “Ok, that’s -5 points for the Gowdin right off the bat.” Harsh but true. Touche. But if the subject turns to the American NAZI Party, can’t I call them that? Could I plea bargain down to 0.5?

    My point was that the people who seem to be yelling, “Off with his head,” the loudest are most likely to call themselves libertarians. Which blows my mind!

    An optional fix is to have diplomats stop gossiping electronically just ’cause they think they are on a secure line. It should not be too much to ask them to act like adults.

  • Greg Fish

    “Touche. But if the subject turns to the American Nazi Party, can’t I call them that?”

    I don’t think Godwin’s Law applies to people who actually are, and proudly claim to be Nazis. But the Tea Party set is hardly even reminiscent of Germany’s Nazi party. In fact, one of the key words in the whole Nazi philosophy is “socialist,” which is why the great minds at the John Burch Society took an entire two seconds to think about something other than how much they hated everybody who wasn’t also middle aged, white, and angry about everything, and concluded: “hey, that sounds like the same word those dirty commies use” and led to the all too oft repeated canard of lumping Nazis and communists into one thing.

    “An optional fix is to have diplomats stop gossiping electronically just ’cause they think they are on a secure line.”

    Ah but that gossip is essential. Just like corporate promotions are often decided by who knows who and who did what favor for the boss off the books and out of sight, politics in the real world works by gossip, back-scratching, and blunt, honest e-mails and cables that don’t mince words. Just like you might tell a friend or your wife what you think of your boss and co-workers but wouldn’t necessarily want to repeat it at work when making a decisions that could affect your income.

  • http://gpwillard@gmail.com RaggMopp

    “But the Tea Party set is hardly even reminiscent of Germany’s Nazi party.” Greg, are you paying any attention to what they say? The Tea Party is working with white supremicists. Some have been recycling for 40 years. You say they’re not NAZI’s because they don’t self label; the actrual NAZI’s usurped the term socialist when they had no intention of adopting such a system. Hell, I can call myself a conservative.

    “Ah but that gossip is essential. Just like corporate promotions are often decided by who knows who and who did what favor for the boss off the books and out of sight, …” No it’s not! Gossip about Gadaffi is reasonably included in formal intel. reports, under the heading of GOSSIP. Gossiping about other government personnel in email is tantamount to career suicide in federal agencies. Snitching on actions of another agency with gossiplike lack of specifics is frowned on. If you have specific information regarding a violation you file a formal accusation with the appropriate enforcement agency.

  • Greg Fish

    “The Tea Party is working with white supremicists.”

    No, the Tea Party set tends to be quite xenophobic which attracts supremacist groups who think they’ll have new allies. There’s a big difference between xenophobia and racism. Xenophobes fear any foreign culture or influence and really want to distance themselves from it. Racists believe that foreigners who aren’t the same race as them aren’t even valid human beings, and the Tea Party falls solidly into the first catregory. They don’t think foreigners are sub-humans to be exterminated, they just want them all to go away.

  • Paul

    RaggMopp, the Tea Party aren’t a white supremacists movement, they are pro-business, anti-tax activists to remove regulation and oversight of corporations and the individually wealthy. Their primary funding seems to come from the billionaire Koch bros, whose agenda is simply to distort US politics to maximise their own wealth. The same reason Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News and News Ltd papers give the Tea Party so much disproportionate publicity, it suits Murdoch’s similar political agenda.

    Anything the Tea Party does outside of more-tax-cuts ‘n’ less-regulation is a side issue, random populist flotsam collected from the group-unconscious of the “Movement’s” foot-soldiers (those who think it’s genuine.)

    (A better Nazi analogy, the early Nazi party recruited heavily amongst the poor during the Great Depression, where Socialism/Communism was popular, hence the name “National Socialists”. Then, after gaining power, stabbed those supporters (the SA) in the back (often literally, as in the Night of Long Knives), and consolidated power for their middle/upper-class right-wing base (the SS.))