Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I’ve been sitting on some big news for a while but today, with all of the necessary paperwork written in a bizarre eldritch language not meant for the eyes of mere mortals signed in triplicate over a pentagram drawn with the blood of a recently sacrificed virgin — the kind who devoted a lot of time to role playing games and arguing about them on message boards, not a gorgeous young lady, relax — we’re making it official. Weird Things is all set to join its partners in content at NWO Blogs, the best place for bloggers working on disseminating the propaganda and advancing the sinister machinations of the Reptoids and secret Illuminati cabals of the New World Order. We have a big year in front of us as we keep laying down the groundwork for the global takeover in December of 2012, and there’s going to be a steady stream of posts required to disinform and hypnotize the public into obediently complying with our subliminal orders. Using the prototype assembled from the plans laid out in my thesis project, the HypnoBlog initiative should really gain a lot of steam by late fall, getting us right where we want to be when it comes time to execute our schemes.
Since we’re talking about this blog’s links with NWO initiatives, it would only be fitting to acknowledge the help of the Men in Black in composing my posts about alien contact, alien invasions, and ancient astronauts, or as we generally refer to them, Monday morning, Thursday night, and the history books we stash in the hidden underground catacombs under the Library of Congress along with the DNA manipulating machines and vast tomes of extraterrestrial wisdom. I’d also like to thank Lord Draconis Zeneca of Glaxxon PharmaCOM Orbital for my posts on vaccination, posts such as this week’s discussion about vaccine refusers, requested by a higher up in the Reptoid hierarchy for which Glaxxon is a thriving front. With my busy schedule, it’s easy to skip an important topic and I certainly appreciate Lord Zeneca’s input as well as the lovely pet he sent me. I’m not quite sure what that pet is yet but it has six eyes on spiral, bony stalks, six limbs with large claws, and since it frequently belches deadly acid, it’s currently living in my dungeon until I and the significant other find out what we’re actually going to do with the horrifying thing. Last, but certainly not least, I’d also like to extend my thanks to the Illuminati appointed copyeditors who try to review every post that goes on Weird Things and offer me a wealth of tips, research materials, and advice. You guys and girls, and whatever those tentacled daemons are, are just the best, and I’m looking forward to our future work and biweekly orgies together.
Now you may ask why this is happening and how long it’s been going on if you missed the clues I’ve dropped since the beginning of last year when I wrote about the major disparity in income between skeptics and the famous promoters of woo we regularly rebuke, as well as the image chosen for my post about the variety of conspiracy theories nowadays, and my elaboration of how the military-industrial complex in the U.S. got to be the way it is today, which hinted at unspecified future need for well armed troops on the cutting edge of weapons technology. Of course I couldn’t elaborate on that, but then again, I don’t know everything on that end and it really wouldn’t be good practice to randomly guess in posts for public consumption. So what about the few posts I wrote about WikiLeaks’ aura of undeserved grandeur and Assange’s faux martyrdom, you may be wondering. Well, those were just my personal conclusions since WikiLeaks was an Illuminati operation in the first place, designed to foster chaos and mistrust in global politics, and lure certain nations to work with a shadowy cabal which would keep their secrets safe for a fee. Would love to say more because the whole plan as detailed in the handbook is actually quite ingenious and clever, but as you can probably guess, this sort of thing is kind of hush hush at the moment. Suffice it to say that bringing down well established governments is a long process and it takes a lot of subterfuge.
Speaking of global instability, it’s worth mentioning that the aftermath of the Great Recession has really been speeding it up nicely, and considering that it was just a bonus thrown in by Wall Street rather than a planned takedown like the dot com bubble, it’s actually saving us a whole lot of time and money. Thanks Bear Sterns, we owe you one. And while you’re still taking all this in, let me assure you that the switchover itself will be as seamless as it can be and you won’t have to change your bookmarks for the blog or the feed. Actually, since this domain name has a rather nice Google rank and gets a very decent amount of search traffic, we’re going to keep it as is. The only real change will happen behind the scenes as I transfer the multimedia files and the database over to the NWO server networks, and the switchover itself will be almost instant so again, no need to do anything on your end. After midnight tonight, this blog will continue as usual, so if we do everything right on our end, you will not notice anything different. Exactly as planned when negotiations for this project began. Stay tuned. The takeover won’t be televised, but it will certainly be hypno-blogged…