ding dong, the evil, parasitic pope is gone

Pope Ratzinger is giving up his post. This is by far the best and only morally correct thing he did as pope.
alien pope
Illustration by Aram Vardazaryan

For the first time in six centuries, a sitting pope will be stepping down from his post. Those of us who watched him refuse to prosecute cases of sexual abuse in the Church, encourage many of his minions to lie about the need for contraceptives to slow the spread of AIDS, demean sex ed that actually works while promoting the myth that abstinence prevents pregnancies and STDs in blissful ignorance or pathological denial, and self-indulgently blame atheists for the what he saw his predecessors do during the Holocaust with his own eyes out of bigotry and cowardice, won’t be sorry to see him go. In fact, please do let the door hit your ass on the way out Ratzinger. Of all those who deserve to leave an ass print on a door for their moral failings, you are very near the top of the list because you’re simply an evil, morally bankrupt failure of a human.

Perhaps when Ratzinger goes off for his announced post-Papal period of prayer and reflection, he can reflect on all the hate he spewed, all the people who are far worse off thanks to his blind faith, all the kids who’ll never see their abusers in jail where they belong, and all the misery he caused by pretending to be a deep thinker and theological genius while his supposedly pointed scholarship consisted of chewing the same dogmatic cud the Vatican has been tossing out of its gilded walls for a thousand years. But he won’t, and that’s what makes him truly evil. Certainly, a sociopath with no sense of right and wrong doing terrible things that harm others because he is amused by it can be called evil. But worse than that is someone who does evil things convinced in his own near-divine infallibility and eying those who don’t agree as lesser people.

Ratzinger will spend the remainder of his days just like he spent much of his time as a cardinal and as the Pontifex, as a parasite. He took money from the rich and poor alike, benefited from the modern medicine and science he decried as inherently dehumanizing and corrupt, ruled by edict from a golden throne while sentencing his poorest followers to a slow death by demanding that they reject the modernity that allowed him to live his golden years in obscene luxury, and last, but certainly not least, blamed everyone else for his own sins. Few men in history could lay claim to having accomplished such evil in their lives in the name of their deity and if there is any sort of afterlife or divine justice, I sincerely hope that this ancient, wizened, wretched creature be sent there to rot and burn for his sheer inhumanity and self-serving arrogance while listening to the special tribute to his reign as Pope written by Tim Minchin for all eternity

# politics // catholic church / dogma / evil / moral / religion

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